Saturday, November 20, 2010

Putting the Turd in Saturday

Let me start by saying it makes me feel crappy pushing my book on people. I know it's part of the process, but I really do feel guilty about it. To counter that, I often undersell my abilities and make self-deprecating jokes while being completely transparent about my agenda. I've said from the start that the intention of this blog was to spur interest in my novel. The way I see it, as a first time author, I’m not selling people on my book so much as myself. I figured that if I could provide some entertaining topics to make you laugh, or think, or ideally laugh and think, maybe you’d be so inclined to go out and buy the book  - yes I said buy.  Screw the library, bunch of freeloading hippies!

But looking back on my first month of blogging (and book sales), I’m not so sure how well my plan is working.  On the plus side, I’ve picked up forty-five followers, many of whom I have never met, which is great. And it’s been fun interacting with everyone.  But I’ve only sold one book – technically I didn’t sell it, Amazon did, but you get the point. I’m sure writing about my big toe and mixed nuts didn’t help my cause, but neither does Amazon’s retail price of $14.95 (plus shipping and handling, which brings it damn near to $20!) Add to that my sad need for validation, and we have a real problem.

You see, even though I make more money selling books for $10 at signings and fairs, I get more satisfaction from a single anonymous on-line sale than I do from a dozen in-person ones. I know that contradicts what I said earlier, but when a book does sell on its own…whooo hoooo! It’s a rush. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the people who buy directly from me, of course I do. But there’s always this nagging feeling that they’re just being nice. They don’t really want to read the book, they just want to make me happy.  The same way I buy crappy wrapping paper from the neighborhood kid, or over-priced cookies from a Girl Scout. 

So, to help me get over that feeling - and more importantly, to get back to my real goal of getting the book out into the world - I’ve decided to start offering direct sales via mail. For only $12 (which includes personalization and shipping, but not handling, since I have no idea what that is) you can have your very own copy of Alchemy.  It also makes a great holiday gift for that special someone, as well as that person you really don’t know all that well!

My father-in-law would kill me if I gave out my address here, so if you’re interested, e-mail me at And as an added incentive, anyone who orders between now and December 31st will receive a lovely gold-toned manatee lapel pin, absolutely free! Or, to put it another way, you can buy a beautiful pin for only $12 and I'll throw in a crappy book for free!


  1. Look, if I have read 6 or 8 books in my life other than trade books I'd be lucky.
    I read your book. The whole damn thing. ( the last book I remember reading before last year was "The Red Badge of Courage" when I was in Cuba in 1967)
    I've got to admit your book almost makes me think I should read another book.

  2. Everyone - buy Alchemy. I hear the pin is beautiful. :) (also, it is not a crappy book at all and mine didn't appear to be handled in any way, so don't worry about that. . .)

    And Mike, it sounds like this could be a good time for you to keep writing the next one!!

  3. I know who the anonymous amazon buyer is.. :)

  4. I keep telling him there's another one in there! Come on Mike WRITE IT!!!