Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Summer-Size Me

NOTE: The picture above is proof that exercise and dieting are a "waist" of time, so I've decided to throw in the towel and just enjoy myself. What's that? You'd rather I cover myself with the towel instead? Fair enough - come to think of it, it might come in handy to mop up all that barbecue sauce I plan on devouring. Thanks for the tip. Now on to the main course...

It’s a weird world we live in when we routinely devote eight months of every year to dieting and exercise in order to get our bodies back in shape for the summer - only to spend the much anticipated season eating all the foods that got us so fat in the first place.  Except for watermelon and corn on the cob (minus the butter), I can’t think of another summer food that isn’t fattening or unhealthy.  Ice cream?  Fried clams?  Burgers?  Hot dogs?  Ribs?  Macaroni salad?   All so good…yet oh so bad.  But can we enjoy summer without them?  Or, as Hamlet might say: To eat, or not to eat, --that is the question: -- Whether ‘tis nobler to diet and suffer for the slings and thongs of outrageous swimsuits.  Or to take arms against a sea of potato salads, and by consuming, enjoy them.

Only it’s not just a question of will power – I’m sure many of us could deprive ourselves of the good foods mentioned above, but who’d want to? What’s a picnic, parade, beach or ballpark without them? The truth is, much of what we love about summer comes from what (and where) we eat.  And thanks to  the warm weather and long days, we have plenty of time to do just that.  Which explains why I usually only have about  a week or two in early May when I can walk around without my shirt on with any degree of confidence - because by the end of Memorial Day weekend, it’s all over.  I’m back to jiggling like a Jell-O mold.  And after two months of hitting every picnic like Yogi Bear coming out of hibernation, I’ve packed back on all the weight I lost (and then some) so that come the aptly named Labor Day, I look like I’m about to give birth.

But who cares? We have a whole year (minus those months between Halloween and Christmas) to work it back off.  Sure, it’s a vicious (but delicious) cycle, but that’s why they invented t-shirts and tankinis, so I say celebrate now and slim down later.  Are you with me? Then step right up (and off that scale) and say, “Summer-size me!”  

Eat those ribs until you can no longer see your own. Dig in to those fried clams - and go for the whole bellies, strips are for skinny people. Double up your paper plate and be the first in line at the next picnic, bypassing anything that's served with a fork. The stuff that must be spooned is bound to be better. And wash it all down with a couple of salty margaritas or frosty beers - keeping in mind that calories that aren't chewed don't count. 

The point is, summer is short, so enjoy yourself. And remember, it’s better to eat good than to look good.  Plus, the more you eat, the better I’ll look in comparison.


  1. But Mike;
    What would happen to the diet and exercise industry if we were to stop obsessing? Bob Greene, Jillian Michaels and Richard Simmons would be out of business (wait...is Richard Simmons still IN business?). And then the federal budget would never get balanced, because which entitlement program would those guys go under? Come on, Mike. Do your part.

  2. :) please console yourself with the knowledge that corn is a starchy carb and thusly chubbifying and also devoid of significant nutritional value. butter up baby :)

  3. I think we should give up food and just eat freezies for the rest of the summer. They can't possibly have any calories.

  4. You know I CRINGED through this post, right? Although I would LOVE to do this, I couldn't. I worked WAY too hard getting back into shape to throw it all away for fatty and unhealthy foods.

    I give you credit Mike, whatever makes you happy. Besides from the look of you you might be only twenty pounds or less overweight. SO enjoy. But keep in the back of your mind as you get older it's not that easy to drop the weight. People over forty have a much harder time.

    Besides, fitting into clothes four sizes smaller and getting cruised by the masses is much more desirable to me. LOL

    Enjoy the rest of your summer and have extra ice cream for me. Nothing like it on a hot day.

  5. 20? I was thinking ten! Damn you Di Gesu and you're newly skinny self! I hope there's a deep dish pizza in your future :)

  6. I was on that seasonal weight cycle for a while myself. Jumped off that sucker, though. I am trying to be reasonable and moderate with diet an exercise year round now. Ain't easy though.

  7. You look great to me.Don't forget the camera adds on 10 extra pounds. People would give $$$$$$$ to look as great as you do.Enjoy your summer with your beautiful wife and son

  8. Sorry, Mike.

    I did say "or less".... Like Anonymous said, the camera does put on ten pounds.

    Thankfully I HATE deep dish pizza. I am from NY so I love thin crust. That is one of the few things I REALLY miss.

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