Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Wood Chucking It All Away

DISCLAIMER: I’d love nothing more than to say that no woodchucks were harmed in the making of this post, but sadly, I can not.

This entry is dedicated to the memories of Zippy, Chippy, 
and Captain Toothsome

With great power comes great responsibility, or so says Spiderman’s grandma. So when Sue earned the power to control my next topic – my first official blog entry, no less – she used her authority to pose a simple, some might say stupid, question: “How much Wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?” And it is now my responsibility to incorporate this into my blog. Here goes…

I’m a skimmer. I wouldn’t call it speed reading, as I usually just skip over the detailed descriptions and extraneous information in a story. I like dialogue, but even when listening to someone tell a story, I tend to tune out the expository information and wait impatiently for the point. It’s not something I’m proud of, nor would I recommend it to others, as there are some obvious drawbacks to interacting to the Cliff Notes version of the world, but it works for me. Most of the time.

Sadly, I skimmed through Sue’s question and came away thinking she wanted to know how many woodchucks Wood could chuck if Wood would chuck woodchucks. Turns out the answer is three, but that’s not important. What’s important is, it made me realize that I need to slow down. I’m going to be 40 soon. What’s the rush? What’s the benefit in racing through things in order to get to the end? I need to stop fast-forwarding and start pressing Play. Find ways to enjoy the so-called boring times.  There are so many Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays that I just want to be over, just so I can get to the more exciting ones. But weekends only make up 25% of the year, or one quarter of a life. It doesn’t make sense for me to wish away all those weekdays, especially when I’ve already used up half my allotment of time on this planet.

It’s unfortunate that it took the untimely death of three woodchucks to help me see the light, but I vow on the memories of those valiant creatures, that from this point on, I’m going to make an effort to make each day count. Spidey’s granny was right. We all have a great responsibility to make the most of the great power we’ve been given, and I’m going to use that power to start squeezing the life out of every day – and start turning those “weak” days into strong ones. But first I have some woodchucks to bury.


  1. So true.
    Have fun burying the woodchucks. I hope their clan doesn't hunt you down and kill you.

  2. Well-played, Mr. Wood.
    Sorry your buddies had to take it on the chin for the cause. Captain Toothsome was always my favorite.

  3. Next week's topic du jour:


    I just had to....


  4. Mea culpa: A facebook friend pointed out that Spiderman lives with his aunt, not his grandma. Sorry if I misled/confused/upset anyone.

    And whichever of you called the ASPCA, you better watch your back - I got plenty more varmints I can chuck!